Wednesday, August 23, 2017

My 10 years experience as a foreigner in a developing country


Today marks 10 years since I moved to South Africa. I am excited to share what I have learnt from living as a foreigner in a developing country. Things did not turn the way I imagined career-wise. I am still grateful to now call this country my second home. I knew within 3 months of settling in South Africa that life as a foreigner would be a struggle for me. I would like to believe that I am an optimist and maybe this explains why I decided to stay put in Zimbabwe and hoped there would be a better day when some of my friends left mainly for the United Kingdom at the turn of the century. Whenever I have had reason to complain that as a foreigner, I have limited career opportunities in South Africa as compared to 21 years ago when I started working in Zimbabwe, I always remind myself that I came to this country voluntarily and also my generation had complicity in the decay that is currently happening in Zimbabwe. I have to admit that I have been more fortunate than the average black or coloured South African who has been and continue to be let down by the poor quality of public school education especially at primary and secondary school level in the townships and the rural areas.



The sad reality is that when eventually there is a change of leadership at SA government level and the economy starts to grow again, there will be a huge demand for skills that are mathematics and/or science biased. A lot of foreigners will be recruited again at the expense of local unemployed black youth given the new politically inspired policy changes when it comes to mathematics education in the public school sector. The government must also heed the worrying statistics from Statistician General that shows the massive drop-out of black students at undergraduate level and the fact that the new generation of African young adults are less skilled than their parents. This is a clear rebuke on the educational policies of the ANC government when it comes to educating the average black child!




The first election in Zimbabwe that I could participate in was the parliamentary elections in 1995. With my two best friends we were going to sit for our A’ Level exams at the end of that year. We were naive to think that politics was only for the uneducated people and we did not bother to register to vote and we even made jokes about the candidates. We had passed our O’Level exams very well and the future was bright for us. If we did well the following year we would be going mainly to the University of Zimbabwe, then the government was still sponsoring university studies and giving them generous grants. If we did not make it to university, we would join the civil service, private sector, go for apprenticeship training in any field or go to a teachers’ college etc. any path we decided to take we would join the middle class. The government was funding most of the tertiary education at public institutions. In 1996 there was a presidential election and we also did not vote. The three of us did not make it to the university, I briefly joined the civil service and then joined the private sector, my other friend became a police officer and the other friend went to a teachers’ college and trained as science teacher.


After the collapse of the Zimbabwean dollar in 1997 everything started to unravel. In 2000 we then voted against Mugabe’s draft constitution and after that ZANU-PF became wiser and they amended the constitution, took away citizenship and the right to vote for hundreds of thousands of potential opposition voters and ZANU-PF narrowly won the parliamentary election in 2000. The government then expropriated commercial farms and the economic ruin accelerated. Now 21 years after we finished high school, the three of us are now in South Africa. I know my generation could have done more to arrest the decay and even now we can still do more to reverse the decay. With the unpleasant experience we had in Zimbabwe, I was dismayed to learn that a full SA government minister was quoted saying, “Let the Rand fall and we will pick it up!”



It is never too late to start over

April 2007 saw me in the city of Bulawayo where I was starting my second year as Branch Manager of an insurance company. The hyper-inflation environment made surviving in Zimbabwe a challenge and what made it worse was the price controls that were imposed by the government and life became even more unbearable. My salary became worthless and my small personal business was destroyed by the price control policies. I had been travelling to South Africa to buy stock for my shops since 2006 and I would stay at my sister’s flat in Sunnyside, Pretoria and there was a stark difference between the lives we were living in Zimbabwe. From 2002 to 2003 we had stayed in Chitungwiza and most days the municipality would only supply water around midnight and we moved to Marlborough, Harare from 2004 to 2006 and also the water supply became erratic and then the power cuts started as the state power company could no longer meet the electricity demand. From 2006 to 2007 we stayed in Burnside, Bulawayo and the power crisis became worse. One picture that is still stuck in my head was of when in August 2007, I walked into Shoprite store in Sunnyside, Pretoria which was fully stocked and then I compared with the Shoprite store that was located behind my office in Bulawayo which was virtually empty due to the price controls. We had to queue for basic foodstuffs such as bread, mealie-meal, sugar, frozen chicken e.t.c. The other option was to drive to Francistown in Botswana about 200km away to buy groceries and fuel for our cars, it was embarrassing to have to import loaves of bread.




There comes a time when one has to accept defeat and start all over somewhere else. Optimism does not fill-up one’s stomach. Early one Monday morning around May 2007 on my way from Harare passing through the city of Gweru, I gave a lift to a lady who had quit her job as a bank teller with a South African owned bank in Zimbabwe and then relocated to South Africa to work as a waiter in Pretoria. I could not believe that as a waiter she was earning 4 times more than what I as a middle level manager was earning. Even farm workers in South Africa were earning more than me. I had completed my insurance fellowship qualification in 2005, then started to do my MBA through a UK university and abandoned the program when I could not raise the required foreign currency. I had been looking forward to re-starting my MBA and hopefully rise through the ranks from middle management to Assistant General Manager position. With the economic crisis in Zimbabwe all of that did not mean anything. After having worked for almost 11 years in Zimbabwe, I collected my quota work permit from the South African Embassy in Harare on the 22nd August 2007 then travelled overnight to Bulawayo. The following morning I left Bulawayo for South Africa and arrived in Pretoria in the late afternoon of 23 August 2007. I was very practical when I arrived in South Africa and within a day I started looking for a job to work even as a waiter. I went for a couple of interviews in the insurance industry and on Friday 31 August 2007 I went for an interview for my current job.I was told in the interview that I had got the job, I signed the offer letter and started training on the following Monday.
 






The world does not owe me anything

Up to when I came to South Africa, I had always believed that if I studied hard, got the right qualifications and work hard then I would be successful in my career and also rise through the ranks. I have to relate this incident that happened when I was still in Bulawayo. One day, my Claims Supervisor came to my office with a client who had demanded to see the manager after they could not agree to a settlement. During the discussion, I gathered that the client was a black South African citizen. The client then told me in passing that if we were in South Africa a person occupying my position would probably be a white man. I did not really think much about it as in Zimbabwe there was generally no problem with transformation as most senior managers even in the foreign owned banks, mining companies, multinational and listed companies were mostly blacks.



A month before I got my work permit, I had responded to a few adverts for senior management positions in South Africa and the response from the employment agents was that if I had a work permit they would have considered me. It was a big shock to me after I settled in South Africa when I applied for many vacancies and most of the times I would not get even a regret. Many companies would not consider foreigners. Some employment agents would call me and when they sent my papers to the prospective employers the answer would be the same. I understood and accepted that most advertised positions where meant for local black citizens to try and redress the imbalances of the past. The unemployment rate among the local black youth has reached crisis levels and is currently estimated at over 40%. I got to learn that you still work hard and take one day at a time without too much expectation for the future and also knowing that your hard work goes only for making you earn as much as possible for the coming pay cheque and next month you start all over again. With time a question such as, “You are over qualified why haven’t you moved up?” no longer hurts as much after 10 years. I now realise that my qualifications are not everything. Even though I have stopped wasting my time by applying everywhere, I normally get the odd calls from employment agents saying they have located my CV on Internet, I always tell them that I am a foreigner and they must find out from their client if they will consider non-citizens for the positions before we waste time doing a futile exercise.



The word no can actually be a blessing in disguise.

 The very first accommodation agent, I approached told me that renting out an apartment to a foreigner was risky and I would be required to pay double deposit. This sounded very unfair and it got me thinking that if I was required to raise almost R20 000.00 as a deposit, if I doubled that amount I could have enough for a 10% deposit to get a home loan and buy my own home. Also when it came to buying the first car, it was very difficult to get finance as you would not have credit history and also be required to pay a huge deposit. I know of a number of Zimbabweans who came together for a stokvel to buy each other cars for cash. By the time you got a credit history your work permit maybe is left with 2 years and you have to pay your car loan before your permit expired. When I purchased my second car, the bank had told me that I had to repay the loan within the remaining two years. At first it sounded very unfair only to find out the experience of South Africans who had bought very expensive cars that they could barely afford and then put them on residual finance when after paying off the vehicle for 6 years would still owe the bank over R100 000.00. When I applied for my home loan only Nedbank was willing to offer me a home loan and I was grateful for their acceptance. My regular bank told me point blank that as a foreigner they would require 50% deposit, I just wondered did they think I would run away with the property to Zimbabwe. The other biggest benefit was that it was difficult to get other consumption credits e.g. cell phone contracts and it helped me to pay off my car loans much earlier.



The realisation that you do not have all the time in the world works wonders as you do not get complacent. The other condition of my work permit was that I had to report to the Department of Home Affairs every 12 months. I was not sure if I would have the stomach to always go and face the humiliation as things tended to change depending on which officials you met on your visit and it was a humiliating experience. When it comes to immigration issues the reality is you are guilty until proven innocent. As a foreigner you can be asked to produce your permit in the street by any official and even by security guards when you enter residential complexes. This was one of the reasons I enjoyed going to Zimbabwe so much because once I crossed into Zimbabwe no one would ask me for my papers. My passport became almost torn within a year due to carrying it with me every time I left the house. This experience taught me the value of my Zimbabwean citizenship and Identity. In late 2007 on a Saturday morning on my way to the shops, I saw several Toyota Hilux vans from the department of Home affairs in the streets of Sunnyside. I passed by the officials and they did not stop me. There was a West African guy busy phoning someone in a foreign country by the Telkom call box (in 2007 it was very expensive to phone a foreign number from a cell phone so we would buy Telkom prepaid cards to phone home) he was hysterical and explaining that immigration officials had detained someone close to him and that scene really made me sad.



When I was still in Zimbabwe, I realise now that I had a sense of entitlement and my experience as a foreigner taught me that nothing is given to you, one has to work hard every day for everything that you want in life. I now realise that it was actually a blessing for me to have lived as a foreigner for these ten years as it changed my whole perspective on life. I no longer complain that much about how unfair life is, I just get on with life. As I shared before, I started to travel to Zimbabwe once a month as a coping mechanism and whenever I saw how tough the situation was back home, I would come back and face anything that I had to face. Due to my frequent visits to Zimbabwe, I started to notice opportunities and I still meet strangers and relatives in Zimbabwe who still whine about how bad the situation is. I am the guy who would buy 50kg bags of mealie meal load them on a train from Pretoria to Messina, then put them in a truck from Beitbridge to Mutoko and then barter the mealie-meal with cattle during 2008 drought. I am the guy who would buy clothing, blankets, used paint plastic containers from South Africa go to Mutoko during my leave and barter the goods for maize and get many tonnes of maize to feed pigs at the farm. Somehow I no longer listen to people complaining all around me. In March this year, I boarded a mini-bus from Harare to Mutoko and everyone was complaining about how corrupt the police are and I just got fed up about this complaining and I just burst out saying, “You all know you do not like the police corruption and you still vote for the same party, what do you expect in return?” I say the same to my relatives and over the last few years there has been this situation with the so called prophets when people somehow think others are bewitching them the situation is getting worse.



I spent the first few years in South Africa regretting the decision to leave Zimbabwe and settle in South Africa given the fact that my career was not going anywhere. This statement from Nelson Mandela helped me very much, “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.” It helped me to let go of the past and make the best of my situation. All of a sudden I had so much time even though I was working extra hours at work; I started and completed my Accounting degree. I have been able to travel a bit and visit new places. More importantly, it gave me the chance to dream and try to start ventures that I would like to pursue when I eventually go home. I just pray that when I eventually go back home for good, I will not forget the most important lessons I have learnt. I try to drive to Harare every forty night over a weekend. On the road to and at Beitbridge boarder post, I see vehicles transporting bodies of Zimbabweans from South Africa back home, my greatest fear is to die as a foreigner without having gone back home and settle down. I also regret about many relatives who have passed on and I never had a chance to talk to them before they go and also attend their funerals because I am 1 300km away in a foreign land.





You do not have all the time in the world

When I was in Zimbabwe I used to take a lot of things for granted and at the back of my mind, I always knew that if I ever lost everything I would go and stay in the village with my grandmother in Murewa. As a foreigner you realise that if are required to go home about 1 300km away, you will need to always have that money to do that and driving to and from home will cost you about R5 000.00. We had bought a residential stand just outside Harare but we never got to build our house. When I was staying in the spacious company house in the low density suburb of Burnside in Bulawayo, I did not see myself going back to live in a small house. Within 6 months of settling in South Africa a friend told me the story of a Zimbabwean engineer who had also came to work in South Africa and after he got the job, he took a home loan, financed a car and incurred other debts and all of a sudden the project that his employer was working on had ended and he was out of a job. I knew that if was ever in a similar situation the only way was to go back home. My problem was that we did not have our own house back home. This story kept me awake many nights; I just knew how difficult it was to get a job as a foreigner even in the financial industry.



I was working extra hours and we were saving as much as we could and in mid-2009, I also decided that I would start studying for an accounting degree and hopeful train as a Chartered Accountant as it was clear to me that my insurance qualifications were of no use. So in November 2009 the day I wrote my final paper in that semester, I drove home to Zimbabwe got to our stand pitched up a tent and started buying building materials and interviewed builders and 4 labourers. Luckily my first job after I completed high school was as a building studies teacher and by the time my two weeks leave was finished, our 2 bedroomed house was almost at roof level. When I was paid my bonus that year we used the money to buy the rest of the building materials and transported the material to Zimbabwe. My family then went  to the home in 2010 and my wife monitored the rest of the construction. I started sharing the flat with many strangers mainly Zimbabweans and at times would even share a room, I made sure I sent most of my money back home to Zimbabwe.



Hard work does not kill

Back in Zimbabwe, I used to work hard occasionally but when I came to South Africa I would work hard for months on end. I was not sure if my 5 year work permit would be renewed and it was due to expire at the end of 2012. I did not have the stomach to approach Department of Home Affairs again, somehow every time I visited the home affairs offices either to report every twelve months, try to apply for permanent residence or apply for accompanying permits for my dependants the service from the officials was always hostile. I was not sure if I would stay for the remaining period of my permit and this depended on whether the situation in Zimbabwe would improve. After the Government of national unity started functioning in 2009, the economic situation started to improve in Zimbabwe and I was almost ready to go back to Zimbabwe. We then decided to start construction on our main house. For many years I would come to work early not take lunch breaks and then work up to 6pm and also work on Saturdays. After work, I would study for my degree and I was writing about 5 subjects or more per semester. I remember in 2013 when my family was staying in Zimbabwe, I came to work on a Saturday morning and left around 12 mid-day and then drove to Harare arriving just after midnight, on Sunday then left Harare at 12pm and arrived in Pretoria after midnight and on Monday morning I was at work on time.
 

If you want something done, do it yourself

I knew at some point in the near future, I would be going back home for good and what would I do to survive once back in Zimbabwe? I had an idea that it would involve farming. At the end of October 2011, I went to Harare and bought 600 broiler chicks to start a poultry project at our house. This was 2 days before I went on holiday to Thailand with my wife after I had won the Top Performers’ overseas incentive award at work. The 8 days that I was on holiday I was worried about my project. When I came back, I would go to Zimbabwe using public transport on Friday nights arriving in Harare on Saturday afternoon to monitor the project and then come back on to Pretoria on Sunday morning. In December 2011, I travelled to Zimbabwe every weekend. My helpers told me they were struggling to find market for the chicken. On 25 December 2011, I arrived in Harare in the morning then visited chicken traders at Mbare and they no longer had stock and told them that I had a lot of birds, went with the traders to my house and they bought half of the stock cash. I was expected at work the day after Boxing day holiday so I moved around looking for market and got a customer who wanted the chicken to be slaughtered and be delivered to her. I then instructed the two workers to dress the birds and deliver the following day. My helpers then slaughtered the chicken and they did not do the job properly and almost 300 birds went bad and I lost a lot of money, I then abandoned the project. Early this year, we grew a tobacco crop in Mutoko and I would travel 2600km over a weekend to go and monitor this project every forty night.




From my business studies and also my commercial experience putting money into a project in Zimbabwe is the craziest thing that you can do. But what if you do not have a choice? I know I am getting to a situation where I would like to live in a country where I should get the same opportunities like the rest of the citizens, i.e. knowing that if there is hunger I have the same chances of starving like anyone else or if there is a job vacancy, I will have an almost equal opportunity as anyone else without someone asking me which country I was born. I know I am very close to that decision. In January this year, I was busy with my studies for the LLB degree that I enrolled for last year after I decided to stop the CTA program as I failed to secure an auditing article clerk training position after applying for two years. Somehow I lost the inspiration to continue studying after the realisation that it would not help in my career advancement given my experience in South Africa over the years. The first thing I found out was that if you really wanted to do any project in Zimbabwe was to personally go and find out the situation on your own and not to rely on the media. This is what I have tried to do in the last 8 years and I have had a few successes.




The business environment is challenging and is unpredictable. The biggest challenge in Zimbabwe is the level of corruption, which has spilled over into South Africa. I have driven my small truck many times from Pretoria and by the time to you reach Polokwane you can start to see the conduct of the traffic police starting to get funny. A few minutes from the border, the police try to extort money from you. On both borders you need to be careful, there are middlemen on behalf of immigration and custom officials who will try to solicit a bribe from you. The Zimbabwe border is the worst and as you enter the border hordes of men run to you and the police and the security just let them be. By the time you leave the border gate a mere 100 metres you encounter the first traffic police check point and you start arguing with them and by the time you reach Mutoko you will have encountered over 20 check points. We as Zimbabweans will have to change all that as we can’t practically all leave the county.




As much as I voted against the 2000 constitution that sought to compulsory acquire land from white farmers, now is time to move on. A few years ago I wanted to do a farming project outside Pretoria. I looked for land to rent and I could not find any. The nearest I got was a 2.5 hectare plot nearer to Hammanskraal and I was required to pay a R240 000 deposit to get mortgage finance. I just felt sorry for local guys; I could go home and ask any relative who could give me that land for virtually nothing and that is exactly what I did. I am embarrassed that I had to first leave the country to realise the advantages that were always in front of me. All I did the last years before I left Zimbabwe was only to complain and dwell on the negative.




Something to be said about crime in South Africa

In 2008, we were renting a house in Doringkloof suburb of Centurion. Luckily I only sleep for a few hours and that morning around 3am when I woke up, there was a person shining a torch on our bedroom window and I immediately stood up and shouted to the neighbours and the person ran and climbed over the gate and ran away. One of the neighbours must have pressed a panic button as an reaction van was around in less than 5 minutes. When I went to the second bedroom were my kids were sleeping, I realised that the robber had already been in that room and he had removed all the burglar bars and had ransacked the rest of the house, luckily we had locked our main bedroom door that is why he had not gone into our bedroom. The realisation that a dangerous criminal had been in the same room with my kids really shook me to the core. We decided that we should move and stay in a complex as it would be safer. Over the years there has been a number of Xenophobic attacks in many parts of South Africa and relatives in Zimbabwe would phone pleading with me to come back home.




In South Africa personal safety is something you do not take for granted and unlike in Zimbabwe, you do not give lifts to strangers, you do not even trust the police especially if they stop you on the highway. You know there are no go areas and you are very careful of where to live and you try not to move at night if you can. Crime touches you personally, someone close to you, the guy seating next to you in the office. One afternoon I came from work and my then 4 year old son was traumatised and was talking about a monster after he witnessed the incident where my wife was mugged for her cell phone whilst she was coming from fetching our son from creche. In my line of work, clients have to recount their experience to me. Some of what I have heard will haunt me for the rest of my days. My first car was a Toyota Tazz and after I realised that the car was a target, I would only park it at the office and at the complex and I was never comfortable to have my wife drive that car alone. The next vehicles that I bought, I had to make sure that they were not a target for theft. Now the crime is out of control they steal any car. You get a feeling that the authorities do not have a clue on how to deal with crime.




Where we stay, even though we have two police stations within a radius of 2km, a mere 100 metres from our flat, I have seen in at least three separate incidents, men snatching women’s handbags and running under the bridge. Many early mornings we hear people screaming after they are mugged of their possessions on the way to work. A few months ago one of the bag snatchers was caught by a mob on a Saturday morning and I did not have the stomach to see what they did to him. Only last month on a Sunday morning around 7am, I was parked outside a flat and I saw a lady nurse who was on her way to work running and coming to stand next to my car and it puzzled me. When I asked her, she then pointed to a guy who was demanding her to hand over her cell phone to him. It is just crazy that a robber can be that daring and the problem is that it is the same petty robbers who graduates and start doing bigger and more serious crimes. The statistics on car thefts and hijackings and other serious crimes such as murder in South Africa are beyond scaring. I worked in the insurance industry in Zimbabwe for close to 10 years and the amount of vehicle theft claims I handled personally I can count them on the fingers of one hand. The first time I drove to Johannesburg in 2006, I came with my company issued Zimbabwe registered Toyota Hilux double cab bakkie and I remember visiting Hillbrow and parking the vehicle on the streets. I only knew that I had taken a big gamble when I started working in South Africa. What made it worse was that the same bakkie had been stolen in Bulawayo when it was new and it was only recovered after two years in a neighbouring country and you wonder how a vehicle can cross three borders without the police realising it is a stolen car. Sometime last year my sister’s Zimbabwe registered Toyota Prado SUV was stolen from the premises of a hotel outside OR Tambo International Airport and from the video released by the hotel, you could see the complicity of the guard who was manning the gate and as far as I know, no one was arrested for that theft.



If I can’t belong now after 10 years then I will ever belong?

In December 2012 a former colleague sent my CV to the human resources department at her new company, the first call I got was whether I was a citizen and I said no, she then said they were only employing people who became citizens before 1994. I was surprised a day later that I still got invited for an interview. After the interview the same human resources officer called me to say that I had got the job and she wanted me to send my last 3 payslips which I did. She then mailed me an offer letter with a salary that was R10 000 less than what I was earning then. I then asked sent an e-mail enquiring what this all meant and she immediately wrote back saying sorry they do not negotiate and withdrew the offer. I just thought maybe she had problems with foreigners. The surprising thing is that I have been their client for the 10 years that I have been in this country. They have no problem with taking money from foreigners but they won’t employ foreigners! Three years later an agent approached me about a junior management position at the same company and after a few weeks she came back with the feedback that they had frozen the post as they preferred a citizen.




At the end of 2014, I finally finished my Accounting degree and then started looking for a firm to employ me as an Article clerk/Audit clerk as part of the requirement to qualify as a Chartered Accountant; most small firms were looking for candidates who were fluent in Afrikaans. The only organisation that would employ a lot of English speaking article clerks is the Auditor General of South Africa, I did apply both in 2014 and in 2015 and I did not get even a regret. I still enrolled for the demanding CTA (Post Graduate Diploma in Accounting) an entry requirement for the SAICA. In the end I realised that this dream might not be realised as I could not secure the 3 year training contract and I abandoned the course and decided to rather concentrate on the current job I have. As the saying goes, a bird in hand is worth two birds in the bush. In 2014 my wife also completed her Accounting degree and after applying to many companies, she was called in for an interview at a brewing company in Pretoria West after passing the written interview and the face to face interview, she was told that she got the job of accounting clerk and was asked to submit her certificates for vetting and that was the last time she heard from the company, we suspected they could not stomach the thought of taking in a foreigner.


In March this year, I applied for a vacancy online at an insurance company and they did not respond. I then spoke to a colleague who I used to work with and I sent her my CV. I was immediately called for an interview at the same company. Whilst we were trying to schedule a psychometric test, I got a lot of missed calls from the Human resources officer and when she finally got to me she told me that they had not realised that I was a foreigner and she said due to the company’s employment equity policies they do not employ foreigners and she was sorry that we could not proceed with the process. I then visited the Home Affairs offices in Pretoria Central to start the naturalisation process and the official told me that the requirement has now changed as one is now required to have been a Permanent resident for 10 years instead of the previous 4 years. It looks like every time you think you know the answer, the question is changed.



I have also interacted with many of my friends, some of whom have worked at organisations such as University of South Africa and they allege that their contracts were not renewed due to the fact that they are not citizens. This is very disturbing to me given the fact that tens of thousands of students that Unisa has are from Zimbabwe and other African countries. A few months ago my wife and I both Alumini of Unisa got separate invites to apply for online tutor positions in the department of accounting and we knew better than to waste our time. I also have many friends who were employed by the government as teachers in many South African provinces and for the majority of them their contracts were not renewed because they are foreigners. I just wonder that if I do not belong after 10 years will I ever belong. Will my children face the same problem? Will they understand if they are excluded due to their nationality? The funny part is that my kids consider South Africa and not Zimbabwe as their home, they are more fluent in Afrikaans than Shona and most of the time I go home I do not go with them as I know they do not enjoy visiting Zimbabwe.




When I left in 2007, my uncle my mother’s eldest brother told me about his experience in Zambia where he had stayed and worked there from the days of Federation of Rhodesia and Nyasaland. He came back home in the 70s. He told me that he would never leave Zimbabwe again no matter how bad the situation became. I met him again in March this year at the memorial of my Aunt who is my mother’s elder sister who had also stayed in Zambia and came back in the 80s. My uncle asked me about my experience and I told him that I now understand what he went through.

  

The saying “Things can’t get worse” is not true for Zimbabwe

In Zimbabwe it seems there is always room for things to get worse. After the last disputed election in 2013 the economic environment started to deteriorate again. Ever since the disputed election in 2000 followed by censure by the Commonwealth and many western countries, Mugabe decided to take Zimbabwe out of the Commonwealth and there has been targeted sanctions imposed by USA and European Union on the country’s leadership. Ordinary Zimbabweans have placed sanctions against the country in their own ways. The idea to isolate Zimbabwe was a noble one so as to force change. However from my assessment all this has made ZANU-PF stronger. In the former commercial farming areas, ZANU-PF has total control and citizens in those areas are totally indebted to ZANU-PF as a result the party now has a tame vote and are assured of landslide victory in those areas. As Professor Arthur Mutambara recently said in an interview with SABC, ZANU-PF is now using land reform as a power retention tool. In the urban areas, a lot of companies have closed down and many people are now reliant on their own small ventures including being vendors and they are at the mercy of ZANU-PF. For example in Mbare the opposition had been winning that seat since 2000 elections until 2013 when it was won by ZANU-PF. It is alleged that trading places in Mupedzanhamo were allocated on the basis of allegiance to ZANU-PF and I suspect this had a hand in changing the fortunes for ZANU-PF.




It seems as the economic environment deteriorates further and the majority of the population become desperate, they become more vulnerable to manipulation by ZANU-PF. I remember in 1997- 1998 when the employment levels were still high and Morgan Tsvangirai was still the Secretary General of the Zimbabwe Congress of Trade Unions, ZCTU would call for a stay away and it was very effective but now with unemployment hovering around 95% this is no longer effective. All of us Zimbabweans both inside and outside the country we must realise that the status quo and further deterioration of the economic situation only favours ZANU-PF. I remember in 2013 a month after the elections when I had to stop the construction at my house and pulled my kids out of the small private school in Zimbabwe back to South Africa.This decision affected my builder and his labourers, the school lost about $3 000 per annum etc. Imagine the impact if tens of thousands made the same decision like I did. The truth is that ZANU-PF does not care about the welfare of the people as the situation become desperate, ZANU-PF government still taxes the people to death for example fuel is heavily taxed. Blended petrol costs over $1.30 per litre fuel in Zimbabwe yet unleaded petrol in Botswana costs approximately $0.74 and in Mozambique it is $0.94. One has to ask why the law is always used as weapon to punish citizens in Zimbabwe by looking at the law that makes it illegal to sell unleaded petrol in Zimbabwe. Who is the owner of Green Fuel the company that supplies the ethanol used to blend the petrol and who is benefiting from that deal. When I drive from South Africa to Harare with a foreign registered vehicle, I pay about R1 000.00 just to get into Zimbabwe and on the road, I have to pay toll-gates on top of the arbitrary police stop fines along the way to Harare and the money is not used to maintain the roads.




For the people in Zimbabwe the taxes are unbearable for example motor licence fees are steep, the vehicle registration fees are exorbitant and they have to contend with the daily extortions from the traffic police. All this money is not put to better the lives of the citizens, right now the government has spent close to $50 million in foreign travel in the current financial year, yet there is a shortage of even pain killers in the public hospitals. There is no accountability no one in government cares about ordinary citizens. God forbid should one be involved in a vehicle accident, there is no ambulance and no fire brigade to assist you have to rely on the generosity of fellow motorists. We need to stay engaged with the situation in Zimbabwe and help where we can, for example if you have money to spare, start a venture in Zimbabwe and even a salary of $100 per month to a cattle herder is a start because it means one less person likely to be manipulated by ZANU-PF. If you have an old smart phone, send it to a relative in Zimbabwe as it means one more person who can get unbiased news from Facebook, whattsupp etc. If you can afford it, please start building that house in Zimbabwe and employ a builder and labourers, buy building materials locally so that those companies also start employing our desperate fellow citizens.


Now that the public health care system has all but collapsed in Zimbabwe, if you can afford please contribute towards basic medical aid so that your parents and your close relatives can be taken care of in those semi private hospitals in Zimbabwe. A number of us have managed to get residence permits for our-selves and our immediate families in countries with functioning governments and unfortunately most of our close relatives are still stuck in Zimbabwe, given the strong value of Ubuntu their welfare is still pretty much our responsibility. I have seen it first- hand colleagues based out of the country in anguish after their loved ones have become seriously ill back in Zimbabwe and some even try to let them cross the border to neighbouring countries for them to access basic medical help.






There in estimated 3 million Zimbabweans or more out of the country and we have the numbers to help each other especially on taking care of our relatives if we contribute towards some medical insurance of some sort. Even the change that we need politically will start by the little help that we give to our relatives in Zimbabwe. How can you start a conversation with your relative in Mutoko to consider voting for someone else for a change when you have not spoken to them in 15 years? The people who are helping sustaining this evil regime are our brothers, our sisters, our close relatives etc. we know them and we should engage them as we are collectively suffering due to their selfish actions. One thing, I have learnt here in South Africa a lot of people are not happy with the current political leadership. Regardless they are still passionate about their country and they still keep on working to make their country keep on going stronger. Also there is engagement across political parties. In Zimbabwe there is deep hatred and intolerance among ordinary citizens due to different political affiliations. We have to stay engaged even with those of whom we do not see eye to eye politically and try to convince them one at a time. Get into business partnership even with that pro ZANU-PF supporter and work with him!



Something to be said about about the elections in Zimbabwe.

In January 2013 a day after the New Year's holiday I drove from Harare back to Pretoria and when I reached Beitbridge, the queue of cars was starting at the railway line about 3kms from the border gate and I was told the situation was the similar on the road from Bulawayo. It took us almost two days to cross the border into South Africa given the huge number of people going back to work in South Africa after the holidays. Imagine my shock a day before the 2013 elections, it took me less than 30 minutes to have my passport stamped on the South African side and then walk the 1km to Zimbabwean side and have my passport stamped. Very few people bothered to go home and vote. When I arrived at my house just outside Harare, there were two couples staying at the house and the four adults did not even bother to vote.




As usual given the nasty experience I had in the 2002 presidential election that was deliberately conducted so slow by the election officials, I now make sure that I arrive at the voting station before 5am. I got to Avondale Primary School very early and I was surprised to see hundreds of police officers already in the queue holding their voting slips. According to news reports the police had already had two days of special voting so why were they voting again today. After I voted, I walked across the town to board a lift to Kumbudzi and I saw hordes of youth going about their business around the Gulf complex and I wondered if they had voted. When I boarded the South African bound bus from the conversations I had with a lot of people they had not voted. I was not very much surprised when ZANU-PF won the Mount Pleasant Constituent and other urban seats and in the process clinched the two thirds majority as this was as a result of a combination of voter apathy on the part of potential opposition supporters as well as rigging from ZANU-PF. Now that ZANU-PF is already tempering with the new constitution and this is on our relatives who voted against their better interests, those in the country who did not bother to vote and all those outside the country who did not bother to come home and vote.



It is true that as Zimbabweans we actually have the government we deserve. Zimbabweans are regarded as one of the most educated people in Africa and I am not sure if this is true. Imagine there is over 200 000 Zimbabweans that had work permits in South Africa and neighbouring countries and they could easily cross the border and vote and they did not. Zimbabweans think it is more important to travel to Zimbabwe for Christmas holidays but not to vote. What is even surprising is that even those without travelling documents make an effort to go back home for Christmas and not to do the same when it comes to time to vote. The same in the urban areas all those people that did not bother to vote and in the process handing ZANU-PF the two thirds majority what are they saying now? Given what I saw at Avondale primary school with the police queuing with their voting slips, I no longer have sympathy for the police officers when they complain about their condition of service and the same with the rural electorate when they were complaining about not getting their cash after they had sold their tobacco and yet they will be cowed into submission and vote the same party back into power. Those in the diaspora and in the urban areas who did not bother to vote and those who were clearly used to rig the elections as per the video captured by Hon Tendai Biti on the election day we need to realise our complicity in our suffering. I am reminded about the article that the late Professor Masipula Sithole wrote just before the 2000 Constitutional Referendum, which was something to the effect of “The collective decision of Zimbabwe as a whole is wiser”. Please let us use our education and make a collective wise decision to better our lives as we can’t continue on this path.


 Is the old Zimbabwe now just a dream?

I am sure the old Zimbabwe of the 80s and the 90s means different things to different people. I grew-up in the Midlands province for the whole of the 80s and life was ok. Even at that young age, I knew that not all was ok in the rest of the country. Towards Zimbabwe’s second election in 1985 we were staying at Amaveni Police station in Kwekwe. One morning on my way to school, there was so much blood on the tarred road of about 200 meters leading from the gate to the charge office. I had to ask my mother about this and she told me it was the blood of PF-ZAPU supporters who were coming to the police station to seek refuge. I remember at one stage things got so heated when ZANU-PF supporters threatened to come and deal with residents in the police camp for not attending rallies. That night for the first time the rusted steel and mesh wire gate of the police station was locked and the police officers came home with guns and waited. I have to think 32 years later that if the police were so scared and worried about the safety of their families, what was happening to the perceived PF ZAPU supporters in Amaveni Township that night. I also remember the elite police from the support unit branch who would camp on the grounds of the police station where we used to play from and they would frequently drive in the troop carrier vehicles towards the direction of Zhombe/Silobela road.



Ever since I left in 2007, I miss home so much. In March 2016, I took my annual leave and I spent nearly 4 weeks in Zimbabwe. My experience for that month left a bitter taste in my mouth especially the conduct of the traffic police. Zimbabwe has traffic laws that seem to have been enacted by the settlers in 1890 when they came in their ox-drawn carriages and are more appropriate for ox drawn carriages and are no longer necessary for the modern times, for example the police insistence on reflectors on private vehicles and this is despite the fact that modern private vehicle now come standard with reflectors on the front and rear lights. The sheer number of check points is beyond belief.




The distance between Beitbridge to Harare is comparable to the distance between Pretoria and Durban. I have driven a dozen times to Durban and I have never been stopped by the police not even once. Whenever I drive the Beitbridge –Harare road it does not matter which vehicle I am driving, I get stopped and harassed numerous times by the Police. In March 2016, there was a day I drove a 1.5tonne truck to Mutoko from Pretoria and I went through 20 police check points and I had to pay three spot fines and this is madness. During the same month, I happened to drive through Harare city centre which I try to avoid as much as possible. I was stopped by the police officer and he told me that I had gone through a red traffic light which I had not done as he only stopped me and not the car behind me and in any case a lot of the traffic lights were not working properly. I argued with the police officer and eventually he wrote me a fine of $5 for not putting a seat belt even though my seat belt was on. The police officer seemed to be under pressure to raise the revenue by any means. Even the day we left for South Africa at the end of March 2016 we were stopped at Mvuma permanent roadblock and ended up paying a fine. I was angry about the action of the police as well the bad conditions of the roads that kept on damaging the tyres. I was not sure if I would visit Zimbabwe again for some time to come. I know as a Zimbabwean citizen, it is my duty to market Zimbabwe, I will hesitate to recommend a foreigner to drive to Zimbabwe. Last year, I convinced my boss to visit Zimbabwe for the first time. I was embarrassed when I met him at the Beitbridge border post on Boxing day when he complained about the conduct of the Zimbabwe traffic police. 
 

After the Independence holiday in 2016, the video by Pastor Evan Mawarire came out and what he said then struck a chord with me. Since then I am became proud to now call myself Zimbabwean again. The day Pastor Mawarire appeared in court for the first time last year was the day I really regretted being a foreigner. I longed to have been in Harare that day and be among the thousands of Zimbabweans who also yearn for a better Zimbabwe, who came out to court and prayed with him. For the situation in Zimbabwe to change it is up to all of us, we will get the Zimbabwe we deserve depending on what we do next.




Is there any hope for Zimbabwe?

Almost 20 years ago, I remember reading an article in one of the weekly Zimbabwean newspapers written by the late Ms Lupi Mushayakarara. She had just came back from America from a seminar that was organized and hosted by billionaire George Soros. In the article she mentioned that she had met George Soros and asked him about his opinion on Zimbabwe and his answer was something to the effect that there was no hope for Zimbabwe. I personally have invested over R500 000 of my hard earned money in Zimbabwe over the last 10 years, I sometimes ask myself was it worth it? In the first five years before I got my permanent residence for South Africa, I was not sure what would happen should they not renew my work permit hence I wanted to do something at home. Some of my colleagues who came to South Africa around the same time with me even migrated to other places such as Dubai and Australia. I thought, I would rather go back home.
The current situation in Zimbabwe is very depressing and I am starting to lose hope again. As they say, the darkest hour is just before dawn, are we about to witness the birth of a new and just Zimbabwe?


A few years ago, I read an article in the news and if my memory serves me right is was written by the then Times Correspondent in Zimbabwe Mr. Jan Raath where he wrote, "The only Zimbabwean who is truly free in Zimbabwe is Robert Mugabe". I agree with that statement and I am not convinced that even the judiciary in Zimbabwe is impartial. From the time that Chief Justice Anthony Gubbay was replaced and the way he was made to resign and then Chief Justice Godfrey Chidyausiku replaced him, it was obvious even to some of us who are not legally trained that something was not right with the conduct of the government and some of the rulings that were made by the Supreme court regarding the land reform as well as the closure of the Daily News at that time. My fears were confirmed when Robert Mugabe gave his speech during the burial of former Chief Justice Godfrey Chidyausiku at the Heroes acre. In auditing studies, they talk of independence as comprising of both independence of mind and independence in appearance. I do not know how many people are convinced about the independence of Zimbabwe's judiciary since 2001.



South Africa my new home also has its problems but at least there is still hope. Like Zimbabwe, South Africa was born out of a painful past that involves centuries of racial segregation. The legacy of apartheid is still with us and you can see the legacy in the shocking inequality that is evident everywhere, the informal settlements all around us, the unemployed who are mostly black etc. To be honest race still matters in South Africa but the situation is slowly changing. I think South Africa is at the stage that we were in Zimbabwe around 1998 to 2000. In Zimbabwe after the civic society formed the National Constitutional Assembly in 1997, ZANU-PF tried to hijack the process by forming the Constitutional Commission and they even co-opted some of the activists such as the Late Lupi Mushayakarara to be one of the Commissioners. One of the sweeteners in the proposed constitutional commission was the appropriation of land without compensation. Even though many of us were not happy that commercial farms were owned by a minority white citizens, we went on to reject the constitution as we realized that ZANU-PF government had not done anything about the land issue for 20 years and now they were facing possible defeat in the upcoming elections and they were now being opportunistic.



My assessment is that ANC is now facing possible defeat in the coming elections. As Professor Ken Mufuka has written many times before,"its the economy stupid!". Like it was for Zimbabwe when the Zimbabwe dollar crashed after the ZANU-PF government awarded unbudgeted gratuities to the war veterans. In South Africa, some of the economic problems are as a result of the leadership and management of Jacob Zuma, which at times borders on the economy being on auto-pilot and at other times the actions of the president resembles a bus driver trying by all means to drive the bus over the cliff. The latter would be like when he fired Minister Nene, Minister Gordhan and Deputy Minister Jonas. From the election results of 2014 National election, it is clear that ANC has already lost the vote of the minorities. In the 2016 Local government election, it appears that ANC government also lost a huge chunk of the black middle class vote as well and the black working class. The worst case scenario for ANC would be if the faction of Dr Nkosazana Dhlamini Zuma wins control of ANC in the December 2017 elective conference of the ANC. The 2019 election will be  become another referendum on Jacob Zuma like it was in 2016 local government elections. Come 2019 election my own prediction using simple weighted average mathematics, is a coalition government of DA with about 33%, EFF with about 15% and IFP with about 6%. As we saw in 2016, people who are against the status quo are more eager to vote, whereas the potential ANC voters are seeing no need to vote and if the self inflicted economy problems persists this will be a nightmare for ANC.




What gives me hope about South Africa, is that ANC unlike ZANU-PF which when it was faced with defeat in 2000, ANC does not have at its disposal the coercive tools that ZANU-PF had at that time. The following institutions in South Africa are independent; The judiciary, Electoral commission, vibrant media e.t.c. More importantly ANC does not enjoy the two thirds majority. Another thing working against ANC is that the tens of thousands of citizens who have emigrated to places like London, Perth, Auckland, New York e.t.c will have an equal say in 2019 from their new bases. The South African constitution is regarded as one of the best in world and for the foreseeable future we might not have a political party that will be able to muster a two thirds majority in the parliament. The other ANC faction will use the race card as we are beginning to hear with the talk of white monopoly capital but I doubt  that will have much traction for them. Ordinary people have got an intimate knowledge of what is happening in the society and I always give an example of Chimanimani Constituent in Zimbabwe.


In 2000 election, the MP candidate for MDC was a white commercial farmer by the name of Roy Bennett. Even though race and colonialism is a favourite campaign rhetoric in Zimbabwean elections, ZANU-PF was shocked when ordinary black peasant farmers voted for a white farmer to represent them in parliament. This result pained the establishment so much that Roy Bennett personally and his family endured so much persecution from ZANU-PF, firstly he was the only member of parliament as far as I know to be jailed for a scuffle in parliament during an emotional debate and secondly when the Government of National Unity of 2009-2013 was formed, Robert Mugabe refused point blank to swear-in Roy Bennett as a deputy minister of agriculture when he was nominated by then Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai. My advice to ANC is Nkandla, State of Capture, general corruption e.t.c matters to the ordinary folks as well. As much as Jacob Zuma celebrated his victory on the no confidence vote, he needs to scan the social media and see the large percentage of black voters who were so disappointed by the result. Their revenge is coming in less than 24 months.


Here is to taking it one day at a time and going with the flow!


God bless Zimbabwe!

Friday, August 18, 2017

Dear Mama my hero


Dear Mama, my hero


My mother with her nieces(vana amainini vangu) in Highfield

I am have not travelled back home to Zimbabwe in two months now and this has been the longest I have not gone home in the last few years. Somehow the current situation in Zimbabwe depresses me more and I keep on postponing the trip. I normally travel to Zimbabwe over weekends and stay for less than two days. In less than a weeks’ time, it will be exactly 10 years since I left the country and started living as a foreigner. You see for me living as foreigner is the hardest thing that I have had to do so far in my life. Most nights I dream that you are still alive and when I wake up, I realise that you have been gone for over 15 years. I am not sad anymore as I know that you are now in a better place, it broke my heart in your last years when you suffered so much and you begged for the lord to take you and spare you from further pain and suffering. Most nights I dream of Zimbabwe and all the beautiful places I have lived in from Belingwe, Highfield, Amaveni, Mbizo, Murewa, Mutoko, Mudzi, Harare,Chitungwiza, Bulawayo and our village in Jekwa where dad is resting next to his grandmother, less than 300 metres from his mother’s house. My first memories are of Belingwe Police station , where you used to take me to the shops.
I dream of all the houses we stayed in Amaveni Police station. I think of the examples that you set for me back then at Amaveni Police station sometime between 1983 and 1985 when one day I was playing with other kids near the fowl runs and I found a wad of bank notes under a brick, I came running to you with the money and you set up asking people in the police camp if anyone had lost the money. One gentleman came forward and said the money was his and you gave him the money even though we both suspected that he was lying. The same way, I would come back from the shops in Amaveni Township with extra change and you would tell me to go back and give the shop keeper the extra change. I think of the day I had anxiety attack in grade 4 at school and when people suggested that it was evil spirits, you disagreed saying there was nothing like that for you believed nothing could not be solved by a good beating. Thank you very much for setting a good example for me. Now as a grown man, I shake my head with disbelief seeing adults refusing to take responsibility for their actions and instead believing that a witch is responsible for their misfortunes.


I also dream of our life at Mbizo police station, I think of the time you went to Kwekwe District Hospital to deliver my youngest sister and I was expecting you to come home with my sister, instead they had to transfer you and the baby to Gweru Provincial Hospital as the baby was very ill and she passed on. The same hospital I was also admitted to for many weeks between 1981 and 1982.  I never got to see my sister and all I remember is her tiny white coffin when she was brought home before adults went to bury her at Mbizo cemetery. You once told me her name and I forgot the name and I never gathered the courage to ask you about the name again, I had seen how hard you cried before and after her burial and it broke my heart and I never wanted to remind you by asking for her name. When I started cycling, I would cycle past the cemetery many times to see where my sister was and now when I drive past the city of Kwekwe I say a silent prayer for my baby sister. I then remember how you always had faith and always believed in me when I could not even believe in myself. I remember being admitted to Kwekwe General Hospital sick with malaria a day before I had to sit for the grade 7 national examinations and I could not bear the thought of repeating grade 7. When I saw the doctor and nurses were about to do their rounds, I quickly went and took a shower and by the time they came to my hospital bed my temperature was a bit lower and they discharged me from hospital and I was able to sit and write the exam even though the symptoms of malaria were still there and I was sweating and shivering in the exam room.
I also think of our life and our new home at Dombotombo police station when dad was seriously ill.  I remember arriving in Marondera (that cold town) in the middle of the school term and I could not get a place for secondary school and I had to sit at home for 2 months waiting for the next school term to start. Eventually I found a place at Nyameni Secondary school and it was my first time to walk such a big distance to school. Everyone around was telling me that was the worst school in the whole town. I remember you telling me to believe that I would make it. I thought of you when my O’Level results came out and I had done better than 95% of the whole town including those at the so called best schools.  I think of how tough life can be even for a 14 year old boy and where adults can be unfair and I remember a very close relative telling me to hold my father’s hand when he could no longer see with this words, “ Bata baba vako ndimi munodya mari yavo”. I just obliged and held my father’s hand. I appreciate the time that I had with my father when he had to tell me a lot of things about life even though I was very young. I remember the months of October and November 1990 when firstly you could not go and attend your mother’s funeral and a few days later your husband also passed on. I remember  Mukoma Rememberance feeling sorry for me during the funeral that as the eldest child with these words, “munin’ina wasiirwa nhamo”. I simply replied, “Life is like that, life goes on”. Recently Brian told us that he does not have any memories of dad as he was only 4 years when dad went to a better place. I remember how true the saying, “when times are tough friends are few”. No one was willing to help us and some close relatives even stole some of our money. I remember how strong you were in defying the directive of both sides of the family when they instructed you to take your family back to the village and you knew your kids would get a better education in an urban environment and you then bought a house for us to stay in Yellow city.
I remember the struggle we would have to get enough food, clothing and blankets. Our best clothing was our uniforms. I remember that even if we did not have much, every time I came to you with someone who was selling a school book that I really needed, you were always able to buy that book for me.  I remember the cold months especially the month of July in Marondera when the frost would start to take effect early in the morning I would wake up due to the cold as we never had enough blankets and it would signal time to start reading the books. This is the reason I never wanted to build my house in Marondera. I remember how you would take no prisoners and one day when I was still doing O’Level, you saw me from a distance walking with a girl on my way from school and in your true style you shouted , “Dabbie, is that my daughter in law?” and I just wished if the ground would swallow me and save me from the embarrassment  I felt at that moment. They say it takes the whole village to raise a child and true to this statement every child in the township was your child and you would not shy away from reprimanding any child that you saw misbehaving on the street and you would voice your opinion there and then. I remember you vetting my friends that I could play with as you had veto powers on whom I could hang out with and as a result I only smoked my first joint and drank my first beer at 20 when I was already working. I remember when I got my first job as a temporary teacher and you told me that you were happy as your dream for me was to become a teacher. I then told you that I would not go to a teacher’s college as it was not my dream and you accepted my decision. I remember how proud you were of me when I finally got the job I wanted in the insurance industry in 1997. I am grateful that you got to see your daughter in law Manyoni and you had a chance to talk to her.

I remember coming to see you at Marondera Provincial hospital around January 2002 when you were admitted there. Firstly you would complain why everyone kept on telling me that you were sick and having me take time off from work to come and see you instead of letting me keep on working for the family. Secondly even though you were very ill, you would worry about my safety when you saw me coming from Harare holding the Daily News newspaper that was “banned” by the war veterans in the town and the war veterans would burn copies of the newspaper on sale. I would always answer that it was my right to read what I like. I decided even then that it is better to die on my feet than to live on my knees. Now 15 years later those same war veterans are now at the receiving end of the same leader in whose name they used to maim innocent citizens. I remember a few days before you died when you made it clear to me that you would not want to be buried back at the village and your wish was to be buried in Marondera. You knew that I would make sure that your wish would be respected for I had learnt from you not to take sh*t from anyone. During the funeral I did not have much time to grieve as I had to defend your wish against both sides of the family, I had to be strong and hold it together and defend my sisters and my wife from unfair indabas that were being held at the same time as the funeral. I only managed to shed my first tears at the grave side at Lendy Park Cemetry after the last viewing.


Later that year, you were not there to see me becoming a manager for the first time. You were also not there to see me driving my first company car that year. You were not there at my church wedding as well as see your grandson who was born that year. You were not there the following years when Phillipa graduated from University of Zimbabwe and became the first person in our family to get a degree. You were also not there to see my Associateship Diploma after I could not afford to pay for the travelling costs to Johannesburg for the graduation ceremony.  You were also not there for me to tell you about my new and bigger position and the birth of your second grandson. You were also not there in 2007 for me to tell you that like hundreds of thousands of other young Zimbabweans we had to leave our country of birth and become foreigners just because our leader had made our country a wasteland.  I am sure if you were here you would have told me ,“Kusina mai hakundwe”. You were not there for me to tell you, how difficult it is to live the life of a foreigner where the most constant answer you expect to get is “No”. A life where I start to question some of the things you taught me such as if you study and work hard you will progress in life. As a foreigner most of the time people will not invite you even for an interview.  Where your hard work seems not to count for much expect towards your next pay check. When people invite you for an interview, they do not even mention your experience and the qualifications that you sacrificed so much money and time on. Where it is a fact of life that even after you have gone for an interview you expect and accept an answer like, “sorry we did not realise that you are a foreigner, we can’t continue with this process”. You were also not there to see our house that we built, to tell you about my experience when I went overseas for the first time, to see your daughter Phillipa going to Germany to read for her PHD, see your third grandson that we decided to name after you and to see me get my degree.


I have to come home to Zimbabwe so often just to remind myself why I have to endure this life. I am always happy crossing the border into Zimbabwe early Saturday morning and getting the chance to eat green mealies that taste like real maize, chicken that tastes like real chicken. I also get very happy sleeping in a house that is not owned by the bank. The hardest part is on a Sunday morning when I have to drive back to Pretoria and I always debate whether I should just stay put in Zimbabwe and suffer like millions of Zimbabweans. I know I no longer have the strength to continue living the life of a foreigner.  As years pass on and I get older, I resent being far away from home. About two years ago Mbuya Chishongo passed on and I was not there to comfort grandmother after the death of her younger sister as I was 1 300km away. All I have left is the memories of Mbuya Chishongo from 1997 in my last year as a teacher, I would meet her several times at Murehwa bus terminus whilst she was waiting for the Shiriyekutanga buses on her way back to our village and we would talk for hours and when I started working in Harare, I would meet her at tete’s house in Sunningdale and the last time I got to talk to her was at Tere’s wedding in December 2010. I never got to tell her that I also missed her son Babamunini Masimba who towards the late 80s would protect me from bullies in the difficult environment of herding cattle. Some of the things are just difficult to talk about, how do you even begin that conversation and talk about the only two sons she had and she had to bury them and then her daughter who passed on leaving such young children. Also Sisi Juliet was very sick and she passed on and I was too far to attend and only last year your eldest sister Maiguru mai Faresi also followed you and I was only able to attend her nyaradzo this year.
Life in Zimbabwe keeps on getting hard and difficult, public hospitals do not have medicine and people have to skip the border to neighbouring countries for proper medical care, yet there is always money for the 93 year leader to commandeer the last functioning planes from the broke national airline to take him and his family to see doctors in the Far East. Corruption is getting worse I know dad would turn in his grave if he knew that his colleagues in the police force are now regarded by citizens as the most corrupt. Many able bodied people who can are desperate and they are leaving the country in droves. It is very difficult to raise children in Zimbabwe as the role models are people who get tenders from the cash strapped government and then they do not deliver on the tenders and they get away with it due to their proximity to the leader. How do you tell a child to concentrate on school work when graduates sell airtime in the street, government trained nurses are not employed even though the health sector is in crisis. Maybe it was the lord’s plan to spare you and dad the agony of seeing how run-down our once proserous nation has become.
I have heard harrowing stories of desperate Zimbabweans crossing Limpopo river to look for a better life. Some die on the way like wild animals and I just wonder who will tell their mothers the fate that met their precious children. I have seen desperation driving professionally qualified Zimbabweans to do unbelievable jobs in foreign lands. I have seen qualified teachers working as house maids, a person with a master’s degree working as a waiter, a qualified teacher driving a bread delivery van, qualified engineer doing menial jobs etc. No one knows when it will end as the opposition politicians seem to hate each other more than they hate the leader who has made our country a laughing stock. Right now my greatest fear is that we might never come back to stay in this beautiful country as the situation keeps on deteriorating. None of my kids want to visit Zimbabwe as they no longer regard this country as their home. Imagine even a 4 year old sensing something is not right with the country!
I want to thank you for all the sacrifices that you endured for me and my siblings. Thank you for all the values that you instilled in me. In your life, you might not have got the opportunities that we have had, you might not have visited the countries that we have visited, met important people that we have met and sat in the boardrooms that we have sat in. All of this was due to the vision that you had. We would not wish to have had a different mother. I will always remember your words when I left your house in September 1996 to start my first job when you said,”usanondinyadzise ikoko kwauri kuenda. Wonoita semwana akabva kunevanhuwo”. I know wherever I am, I should endeavour to be your true ambassador and not tread too far from the values that you instilled in me.
Zorora murugare Mamoyo, till we meet again.