IS IT BLACK TAX OR JUST UBUNTU?

A lot of close relative will not be happy that I wrote this article. In my culture we rarely talk about our feelings, we always sweep everything under the carpet. I find writing therapeutic and it helps me to cope with a lot of stressful situations.

My cousin Remembrance Mukarakate looked at me with pity in his eyes and said, “munin’ina wasiirwa nhamo” (young brother, your father has left you a huge burden). I am the first born in a family of five. I was 14 then, I did not panic because the strongest person I have ever known, my mum was still around. It was in early November 1990 during my father’s funeral in our village nearer to Jekwa School in Murewa. Three days before, I woke up in the morning preparing to go to school, I told my mum about the dream I had the previous night about my father, I had dreamed that he had died. After I told my mum about the dream she told me to go to school. My father had been ill since 1989 and he was suffering from HIV/AIDS and he looked like someone in his 80s yet he died a few months after his 36^th birthday. I came back from school later that evening and I was told an ambulance had taken my father to Marondera General Hospital. Message came back to say he had died. His colleagues in the police wanted to go and personally deliver the news to my paternal grandmother. I volunteered to show them the way to our village. We drove via Macheke commercial farming areas, Nhowe Mission and the police Land Rover truck reached my grandmother around midnight.

I had not slept for two nights. My parents come from neighbouring villages so I decided to go to my maternal grandfather’s home to catch up on some sleep since everyone was at the funeral. My maternal grandmother had died about three weeks before. Mukoma Remember was there and he was on hand to remind me of the grim reality that lay ahead. After the burial we went back home to Dombotombo police station. About three weeks later we were back in the village where my father’s clothes were distributed and most of it was given to me as I was almost his height. My father’s will was read and after that my mother was given a stick. My father’s brother and his half brother and myself were asked to sit in front. I saw my mother passing my two uncles and giving the stick to me to signify that she did not want to be inherited as a wife by either of my two uncles and instead she just wanted to raise her children.

My uncle and his wife would visit us once or twice, my uncle asked my mum to give him part of the pension money as he now wanted to write O’Level exams. My uncle had been forced to leave school in form three (grade 9) around 1983-1984 under the harsh Zimbabwean government policies after he impregnated the sister of the headmaster. He had worked for almost 6 years using his Zimbabwe Junior Certificate results as a temporary teacher in a primary school close to the Mozambican border. I don’t know why he had not furthered his education then. Now with the end of the civil war in Mozambique qualified teachers were now accepting teaching posts closer to the border. We learnt that my uncle had taken the government cheque meant for my mother and fraudulently cashed the cheque for my father’s last salary for November 1990. I never saw my uncle again until I went to his house in Epworth in 1996 when my sister had eloped. My uncle refused to accept the money saying I must take it as I was their rightful father and not him. I would connect with my uncle when I started working in Harare in 1997 and he had borrowed money from me a few times promising to pay me back and he was now refusing. I then told my mum about it and she went to demand the money and when she got it, I asked her to keep the money. I then kept my distance.

When my father’s pension came out around July 1991 we had to move out of the police accommodation. My mother took all the money and bought an incomplete 2 bedroom house from the municipality. The expectation from both side of the family was that my mother would come back to the village with her five kids. The house had only two outside doors no window frames, no electricity and not plastered. We got old iron roof sheets and closed the gaping holes on the windows and we had to deal with the vicious mosquito. A few months later my father’s insurance policy paid out, my mother and I had been named as the co-beneficiaries. From my mother’s portion of the insurance payout, I accompanied her to the hardware and we bought window frames and the internal doors and cement. My portion of the payout was transferred to the Master of High Court in Harare since I was still a minor that time. My mother was now receiving a merge government pension for widows as well as money for all of us dependants. The money was strictly paid on the last day of the month. It was always difficult in December because on Christmas day we would be virtually starving and then my mother would go and collect the money from the post office on 31 December. Even at 15 my mother now asked me to help draw up a budget from the little money she was getting. My mum had a huge garden at home where she was growing vegetables. In the rainy season she would grow maize, pumpkins, ground nuts and round nuts in the municipality lands. She would also go to the farmer’s market around 4am to buy vegetables for sale. Some of the neighbours would help us where they could.

The life of poverty is dis-empowering. I would eat in the morning then walk and run almost 6kms to school and did not eat anything during the day. At lunch break I avoided hanging around other school children as you can’t always burden them in them having to share their lunch with you. After school I would walk home and get there around 5pm eat and then dash to Dombotombo library and study until it closed at 7pm. During school holidays, I would eat in the morning spend the day at the library and then come back during lunch at times go to the nearest bush and gather the brown kennels that pop up with seeds that came off the msasa trees put them in a sack. Some people would defecate under the trees, so you had to try to avoid touching human waste. Get home start a fire using those kennels and roast dried maize, eat and drink some water and go back to the library and study until the library closed. My mother only managed to connect electricity at home when I was in form 3 and before that I used a paraffin lamp to study as candles were very expensive. My mother could not afford to buy us new clothes so we did with second hand cloth coming from overseas via Mozambique. The best cloths we had were uniforms. At the beginning of the year my mother would get quotations from school uniform shops for many pairs of uniform for me. We would then go to the Master of High Court in Harare and get a cheque. She would then buy about two pairs of uniforms for all of us. Another challenge was the issue of blankets, Marondera is a very cold place and it was normally worse during frost month of July. At times I doubted that I would escape the life of poverty despite all my mother told me about the importance of education.

In 1992 my mother became seriously ill. I really feared for the worst. I had seen how my father had suffered. My father had coughed constantly, lost so much weight and at one time he could barely see so I had to hold his hands wherever we travelled to see church or anywhere. In Dombotombo police station we were using a communal toilet so I played close by so that I could hold his hand to the toilet. Relatives from both sides of the family were not happy that my mother had not gone back to the village after my father’s death. I knew that if my mother died before I finished high school our lives would turn out for the worse. My mother recovered but gradually over the years her health continued to deteriorate, we continued with our daily struggles. Later after I finished O’Level my mother teamed up with other former spouses of policemen to become a volunteer she had connected with under the Kuyedza Women’s club a women’s organisation for policemen wives. They had formed an NGO that was equipping spouses of farm workers with skills. My mother had done courses such as dress making when my father was still alive. With the allowances she got our life improved marginally. Even though we were poor, we were much better off than my cousins and other relatives back in the village. Relatives would always visit us when they were looking for work as domestic workers, applying for passports or drivers’ licence in town etc.

In early 1996 I started looking for a temporary teaching vacancies in government primary schools with my O’Level certificate. When my A’Level results came out, I did not make it to the University fo Zimbabwe. I could now teach in secondary schools since I had passed A’Level. I got my first teaching post at Chimukoko Secondary School in Mudzi starting 1 September 1996. I went to Mbare Musika and bought two used formal trousers and three used white shirts and those were my work clothes until I got paid. In October 1996 I got paid my salary for two months it was $4 000.00, I had never seen so much money in my life. No one had to beg me to do anything at home. I already knew what was expected of me and I just did it without complaining. I went home bought a double cassette radio, a 14” black and white TV and that was the first TV we ever had in my mother’s house. I then bought groceries. I got another teaching post at Chifamba Secondary school closer to the Suswe business centre for two more months. In December 1996 I got paid my two months salary together with a part of the annual bonus and it was almost $4 700.00. I bought Christmas clothes for my mum and all my siblings. I then connected a landline telephone line at home. For the first time since my father’s death we had something for Christmas. In January 1997 I was given an annual contract at Kambarami Secondary school very close to Murewa town centre. I would now go back home to Marondera every Friday night and then come back on Monday morning. I was teaching form 1 and 2 (grade 8 and 9).

My sister had left home in early 1996 to go and stay with her boyfriend when she fell pregnant, she had failed her O’Level exams. My sister and the baby were struggling and I told her to come back home. She started going to night school. I never wanted to be a teacher and I was busy with my Chartered Institute of Management Accounting (CIMA-UK) studies. In July 1997 I got an apprenticeship contract with NCR Systemedia in their printing division and I started working in Southerton Industrial area in Harare, our factory was between CAPS and National Breweries. I was staying with my aunt Mrs Maposa and her family in Sunningdale and I would walk through Mbare Township to and from work, the allowance as an apprentice was not much, as a temporary teacher my salary was almost $2 600 but as an apprentice the allowance was only $800 and I had to work overtime to get more money. In December 1997, I got a big break and was employed as a trainee underwriter at Eagle Insurance company my starting salary was $3 000.00. The previous month the Zimbabwean dollar had tanked, I could not no longer afford the British Pounds for my CIMA studies. My employer at least could give me study loans for insurance related courses, I then enrolled for insurance studies with Insurance Institute of South Africa and the study fees were payable in Rands.

My older sister finally passed her O’Level exams and came to stay with me in Avondale Harare around 1999. I enrolled her for the A’Level night school classes at the University of Zimbabwe and this was a walking distance from where I was staying. I was also paying school fees for my two younger brothers. My youngest sister had got a scholarship but I still had to buy her groceries etc. My older sister passed her A’Level and got a job at a wholesaler and went back and started helping at home. The black and white TV broke down and I went to Meikles Stores and bought a 14” WRS colour TV on hire purchase and sent it home. I then bought a 29” WRS TV on auction at work at Diamond Insurance company. I took the bigger TV home and then started using the 14” TV. I realised as far as 1999 that my salary would never be enough to cover all my responsibilities. Growing up we had been raising broiler chicken at home. When I got my Old Mutual demutualisation shares, I sold them and with the money I bought many asbestos roofing sheets and a lot of wood. I built a bigger chicken run and I could keep 200 broilers at a time. I would collect the chicken using public transport and sell to my colleagues at work in Harare and collect money on pay day. When I got married to MaNyoni, she now also sold the chicken to her friends.

End of 2000, I got a loan to buy a big deep freezer from my employer AIG Zimbabwe, I hired a workmate to transport the freezer home. My mother had never had a fridge in her home, she had always relied on neighbours for a fridge. When we got home I had not told my mother that I was coming, it was a surprise, my mother started crying tears of joy. Around 2001 my sister would facilitate me to get scarce groceries from the wholesale she was working. Every week I would carry the groceries using buses and give it to my cousin who was working for my uncle at a shop in Mutoko about 10kms from our village in Murewa. With time I realised that my uncle was having problems with me making money from his shop. In December 2001 my employer was going to extend us another loan payable in 12 months. I took the loan on the pretence that I was going to buy furniture and when the cheque came I used the money to buy groceries and I opened my first shop in our village. Every Friday evening I would board the bus going to Murewa with new stock and would only come back on Sunday. It was during the land reform period and the neighbouring white commercial farmer in Virginia Macheke was forced out and I was invited to open a shop at the farm and that became my second shop.

In February 2002 my mother died, my youngest sister was already in University staying with me and my wife in Harare, my other brother was doing A’Level back home and the youngest brother was doing form 3 (grade 9). I became a manager in 2002 and I was given a company car being a Mazda 323. It became easier for me to travel to Murewa and Macheke with my own car. All my four siblings and my nephew wanted to come to Harare and stay with us. In 2003 MaNyoni and I moved out from the 2 roomed cottage we had been renting in Avondale and started renting a 3 bedroom house in Unit H, Chitungwiza. Avondale was very convenient for us but for the sake of the kids we had to sacrifice. Eveyone came back to stay with us. Two of my siblings were working, I considered them as children and I never asked them to contribute rentals or to buy food. I would go with them to Harare city centre including the one in university and the last born who was doing A’ Level in Emerald Hill. I asked my middle brother when he was around 22 years to move out after I spent two days looking for him he did not tell me that he was not coming home. I went to various police stations and his office looking for him. I feared he might have been in an accident along Chitungwiza road, the next day police suggested I go and check in the mortuary.

Staying with adults was causing tensions in the house, we continued like that but I realised it was putting a strain on my wife, my youngest sister was almost no longer speaking to my wife. I did spend a lot of time at work or at my shops. My job as a manager was also demanding and time consuming and then I had to drive to the shops midweek and on Friday evening collect money buy more stock on Saturday. So around 2003 before my elder sister transferred from Marondera to come to Harare, she asked if my youngest sister could come home and stay at the house since she was on a break from the university. One evening whilst we were watching TV, I asked my sister to go back home for the duration of the university break. My sister started shouting saying she knew that this was coming from my wife as she did not like her. I was taken aback, I had not even discussed this issue with my wife. From then onwards every time I have a fallout with my sister she starts attacking my wife. My sister then organised accommodation at the university and she moved out without my permission. She would come back the following year and I just accepted her to come back.

In January 2004 I got a better job that came with a double cab bakkie. It helped me to expand my retail shops. At one time I had 10 shops in Virginia Resettlement areas of Macheke and Hoyuyu Resettlement areas of Mutoko. In 2005 we moved to Marlborough. My youngest brother was finishing A’Level and my youngest sister had completed her degree. She moved out again without my permission and I gathered she was under pressure because her boyfriend was going to South Africa and he wanted someone to look after the property. When they came wanting to marry, I told them that I considered my sister to have eloped. My sister was very angry with that and it eventually affected everyone and I asked everyone to move out from my house. My youngest brother had also finished his A’Level and he sided with them and I told him to also go. I got told over and over again that I was seeing myself as the father yet we were all children. This freed me because in 2006 when the vacancy for Bulawayo Branch manager came up, I accepted it and in 2007 I could move to South Africa. Things were never the same between us.

Even though now I won’t sacrifice and help as I used to do because it is difficult to help people that you know do not appreciate your help. I know I am not perfect but I did better than many parents. I know many of my cousins whose parents could not afford to even pay for secondary school fees. I did my best and now I know my best was not good enough. I can sleep well at night knowing that I did my best. I never considered my siblings as a burden, I wanted the best for them as I knew how tough life was for us growing up. All of them finished A’Level and everyone is looking after themselves. I was asked to pay for South Africa university fees at the end of 2017, my wife agreed but I won’t put ourselves through that pressure again especially for people who do not appreciate. I know if I die today none of my siblings would do anything for my children. You see in life there are very few people who have the capacity to help other people and then the rest who look after their own interest. I think the time has come to put myself first. I never expected anyone to pay me back as I believe I was born as the first born for a reason, I believe god knew that my parents would leave this earth this soon and I would be left holding the fort.

Helping a close relative should not be seen as burden but it is part of our ubuntu. My approach is that teach a person to fish so that he can feed himself. We all need help one way or another. When I went to Harare, I was accommodated by my auntie for a few months until I got on my feet. When I came to South Africa in 2007, we stayed in my sister’s home for a week before we started renting out our own room and moved out.