DREAMS FROM MY MOTHER- GIRLS FROM POOR FAMILIES ARE GETTING A RAW DEAL FROM SOCIETY

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This past Sunday, I saw a news headline from Zimbabwe and it troubled me very much and drove me to set aside time to write this article even though this week I have been extremely busy at work. I asked myself this question, would I agree to a fist fight with one hand tied behind my back? Why do governments still accept this? If girls are not educated it means 50% of the population in that community will not fully participate in the economy. How can African countries compete on the global stage when so many women from poor families are not empowered through education? It also took me back to my high school days. A number of girls in my class whom I started form 1 (grade 8) with in 1990 at Nyameni secondary school in Marondera did not make it to O’Level class with me in 1993 as they dropped out of school when they became mothers. From what I remember none of the girls in my school proceeded with us to A-levels the following year. This situation just perpetuates poverty. At Marondera High School, in my class there were many competent girls who showed boys flames and went on to pursue science degrees at the University of Zimbabwe. It was Nelson Mandela who said, “education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world”. Education helps girls to get careers and also join the middle class and help them and their families to also escape poverty. Educate a girl, you educate nation.

Many of you know that I and my four younger siblings were raised by my mother after my father died in 1990. The challenges that my mother faced in this deeply patriarchal society would determine our economic fortunes as well as our chances of escaping poverty. My mother was born Rangarirai Charity Kagoro in 1955 in a village in Murewa Zimbabwe, in her family there were four boys and five girls. My maternal grandfather was a wealthy man by village standards. My mother attended the United Methodist run Murewa Mission. She told me that she and her sisters wanted to continue with their education but her brother who had trained as a teacher at Nyadire College and her father decided that it was a waste of time to educate girls as they would be married off. Also at that time Rhodesia was being ruled by the racist government of Ian Smith and the education of the majority Africans was not a priority. It meant the end of my mother’s schooling, I believe she completed standard six. By the time I went to high school my mother could no longer assist me with my school work and all she could do was to give me words of encouragement. My mother was determined that my two sisters would also get the best education possible.

My mother married my father who came from a neighbouring village. My father had also completed standard six at Dombwe about 12kms from their home since at that time the nearest school to the village did not go as far as standard six and he could also not proceed with education after his father refused to sell cows from him to pursue his education further. My father would join the Rhodesian Police Force. My mother also wanted to join the police and my father refused because in his wisdom the woman had to stay home. A few years before my father’s death, my mother persuaded my father that they sign a civil marriage contract. That act would help to preserve my father’s estate for our benefit. I remember my parents went to the magistrate with two friends as witnesses to the magistrates’ court to sign the marriage contract that was around 1986-7. There were instant benefits for us. Now as a married couple they could now get a 2 bedroom or a 3 bedroom government accommodation and we no longer needed to share houses. My maternal grandfather was not happy when he learnt of the wedding without his blessings as he wanted to have all his lobola dues paid before he walked my mum down the aisle. My grandfather still believed the colonial law existed that always asked the permission from the father of the bride. Had my parents not entered into that marriage contract my father’s estate would have been squandered after his death.

In November 1990 a few weeks after my father’s death we gathered back at the village in Murewa. Firstly they read my father’s will and I remember these words, “ My wife and her kids will live wherever she prefers”. The expectation from both sides of the family was that my mum would come back to the village with her 5 children gets inherited as a wife by my uncle and become a peasant farmer like all the relatives. As part of the ritual my father’s only brother, his half brother and myself as the oldest son we were told to sit in front and my mother was given a stick and she had to choose whether she wanted to be inherited as a wife by either of my uncles. My mother only moving on her knees I saw her passing both my uncles and giving me the stick to signify that she did not wish to be inherited by either by my uncles as a wife and would rather look after her kids. We went back to the police accommodation in Marondera and waited for the government pension as well as my father’s insurance policy to pay out.

Around July 1991 my father’s pension came out and we had to leave the government accommodation. My mother took all the money and bought an incomplete house in Dombotombo township and we started living in the township. Life was tough and my mother told me that she wanted us to get a better education in the urban area hence she did not want to go back to the village, there were better schools and facilities in the town. My mother’s policy was that all children were the same and all of us had to do chores whether you were a boy or a girl. My cousins back in the village, girls were being married off after grade 7 and a lot of them died before they reached 18 or in their early 20s. A number of my cousins belong to Marange Apostolic Church, girls only go as far as grade 7 and they married into polygamous marriages after the 12^th birthday to much older men and they mostly have to fend for themselves and their babies. Members of the church are not allowed to seek medical help, so even when those young girls fell pregnant they do not get medical help, they give birth at the home. They believe in praying for diseases like malaria. A decade ago my cousin fell and broke a bone on his hand, he stopped going to school and it took his teachers to report to the police and he was taken to hospital to get a plaster and fortunately they did not disown him for getting medical help. The government is aware of this but then again it is scared of losing votes, every election the president of the ruling party visits Marange shrine to canvas votes from the hundreds of thousands of Marange church members.

The nearest secondary school to our village Jekwa Secondary school did not offer science classes and only went as far as O’ Level. In Marondera even though we were struggling at home, I was able to pursue science education at Marondera High School. Back in the township, I would meet bright students from some of the top schools in Zimbabwe at Dombotombo library. Life was hard those days, I would eat only in the morning and walk and run almost 6kms to Nyameni Secondary school and not eat anything during the day walk back another 6kms home and then only eat late in the afternoon at home. When I went to Marondera High School, I now had to walk almost 7kms to school. My mother was doing the best she could on a government pension, her gardening, buying and selling vegetables from the farmers’ market. We would raise broiler chicken for sale as well as run a tuck shop from our kitchen window. At times she would rent out two of the rooms and then 6 of us would use the remaining two rooms.

In 1995 I was completing A Level my two sisters were in form 4 and form 1 respectively. My mother gathered enough courage to go and confront my uncle in Harare to demand the money he had stolen. What had happened is that the government had posted the cheque for my father’s last salary for November 1990 to Jekwa school. My mother’s sister was teaching the crèche at the school and had collected the cheque. When my uncle learnt this she convinced my aunt to give him the cheque as he would deliver it to my mother in Marondera. My uncle went on to fraudulently cash the cheque in Harare and in Zimbabwe you can be jailed for this. My uncle was working for his other two cousins in a security company they had formed after being released from jail for stock thefts. My mother went alone to confront her alone and she was lucky that they did not assault her. My uncle dared her to report him to the police and he went on to say it was his brother’s money and he had every right to use the money. My uncle then said why was she showing off by sending me to A’ Level as I should have looked for work after O’ Level and as for girls they were supposed to have been married off after grade 7 since they could now read and write. Words have power as it is, all his sons only went as far as O’ Level and all his daughters got married after grade 7.

In early 1996 my mother’s fears came to pass. My sister had failed her O’Level examinations and she was pregnant. As the father figure, I told her to go and stay with her boyfriend. When I would come home during weekends from my temporary teaching job, I saw that she was coming home frequently with her baby and she was clearly struggling. I told mum that she could come back home with her kid. The following year she went to night school at Dombotombo primary school and passed her O’Level examinations. In 1999 I was staying in Avondale a walking distance to the University of Zimbabwe. My sister came to stay with me and started going to the A Level night school at the university. She managed to pass and got a job in a wholesaler and started looking after her son and also helping at home.

My youngest sister did also major in sciences and when her results came out we did not think she would be accepted in university and she came to stay with me in Harare and started going to Speciss college in Harare studying CIMA. When the university opened she was accepted into a BSC degree program. When my sister graduated around 2004-2005, I told her how I wished our mother had lived long enough to see this. When she also graduated with her Masters degree in Pretoria, I told my sister the same and when she eventually graduates with her Doctorate, I will still tell her the same thing.

 In 2007 we also left Zimbabwe after I was granted a South African work permit. My wife struggled to get a job despite her banking experience. The only job she was able to land was of being a waitress. We decided that she should not take the job and rather study for a degree. She wanted to study for a bachelor of commerce administration degree. I encouraged her to study with me for the Accounting degree as she is very good with numbers. She went on to graduate a semester ahead of me with very good marks. Around 2014 I drove to Zimbabwe and spent the day with a close relative from my wife’s side. This relative then told me that it was not advisable to educate a wife because once she starts working she might leave you and he gave me an example of a relative of theirs who sent the wife for nursing training and once she was working she left the husband. I just kept quiet and never responded to him. I know that I do not own anyone and why should I worry about how another person will choose to do with her life.

In my 23 years of working, I have had the privileged of being mentored by many exceptional women in my career. I benefit from the support and companionship of my beautiful wife MaNyoni. I will also celebrate the women who have had and some continue to have an impact in my professional life. At the end of 1997 when I was fortunate to get a big break to join the insurance industry, I was interviewed by Ms Pat Saukila at Eagle Insurance Company in Harare and I will be forever grateful for the opportunity. In 1999 I joined Diamond Insurance Company and our Managing Director was Mrs Grace Muradzikwa a distinguished leader, I learnt from her and her management team including her then General Manager Mr Isaac Gunda the importance of customer service. I was working in the personal lines claims department dealing with direct clients. When I had claim cheques that needed signing and when her managers when not available, her office was always accessible through her PA Gillian and she would always help us. My direct boss at that time was Ms Pepelapi Gumbo.

In 2000, I would join AIG Zimbabwe and I was recruited by Ms Pauline Arnold. My direct boss the claims manager at AIG was Ms Tendai Chingovo and she has been the most transformational figure in my career so far I have written in a previous blog the important lessons that I learnt from her (http://kanyokad.blogspot.com/2017/09/what-i-have-learnt-in-my-21-years-of.html . At the end of 2002, I joined Zimbabwe Insurance Brokers as a junior manager and I had the pleasure of working with many women including my peer Ms Shingi Chirinda then our Accountant, my deputy Ms Netsai Nyaundi and my secretary Mrs Loice Shangwa. I joined Zimnat Lion Insurance as an Underwriting Manager beginning of 2004, I was interviewed by our then Human Resources Director Mrs Lynn Mukonoweshuro. In my section I had very capable women including my then Chief Underwriter Mrs Rumbidzai Chinwada and my secretary Ms Sandra Chipunza. In the management team my peers included Ms Emilia Hatendi, Mrs Maureen Chigumadze, Mrs Betty Togarasei and Mrs Tambu Madzivire. When I became the Bulawayo branch Manager, I was reporting to Mrs Precious Chasara back in Harare head office and I found my new boss to be firm but fair. At the branch, I was assisted by many capable women including my deputy Mrs Vongai Machonisa and my secretary Alice.

After I joined OUTsurance in 2007, I was trained by Denise Van Burick and she became my boss for many months when she became the Acting Team Manager. My next lady Team Manager was Michelle De Winnar and I also learnt a lot from her. I then reported to Maureen Siobo and my manager’s boss was Lerato Rasentsoere. In 2015, I moved back to business claims and I reported to Isabel Erasmus until when I resigned in October 2017. When I came back to work in April 2018, I started reporting to Abigail Mampuru till the present day. There are a number of lady bosses in our department that I report, I am also very grateful for their help. Some of my friends at work who I would get advice from include Kim Naidoo, Rethabile Aphane and many more

I know that Zimbabwe is currently undergoing harsh economic challenges but it is my hope that the government and society in general does not abandon those girls who are leaving school for a number of reasons. If those girls are not fully integrated into the economy that will not only condemn those women but their children also to a life of poverty. I saw it with my mother, she worked hard growing vegetables and maize and other crops during rainy seasons on the municipality land. Some years the municipality would slash down the crops. She would wake up around 4am to go to the farmer’s market. Despite all this handwork, she earned very little income and we would run out of basic foodstuffs like mealie meal. I see it every morning in Pretoria with ladies making vetkoeks along the city’s road and selling them for around R1 each. They get into town around 5am after travelling from townships that are about 40kms away from the city centre. A lot of the ladies also work six days a week as domestic workers in the suburbs earning minimum wage. Despite their hard work they won’t make much money. My prayer is that those young girls stay in school until at least they finish their high school to give them a chance in life and also break the cycle of poverty.

From my 23 years experience working in both the government and in the private sector, I support the call to have an equal number of women as men in the workforce including in top management structures. This will help to eradicate the toxic masculinity that we come across, as we have seen absolute power corrupts whether in politics but also in organisations. A lot of strides have been made for example when South African President Mr Cyril Ramaphosa announced his cabinet, gender balance was 50/50 and it was the same in provincial government. The issue of women rights affects women of all races and all faiths. For example in the Employment Equity legislation in South Africa women of all races are listed as a designated group that must benefit as there are very few women of any race in the top management structures of many big organisations. On the legal front important changes are coming through for example the Harneker judgement in the High Court in Cape Town and later confirmed by the Constitutional Court of South Africa recognising all surviving spouses married under Muslim Law (polygamy) in Wills Act.

All of us we can help change the world, one girl at a time.

God bless